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How long have I been unhappy?
You were happy just the other day.
Using the body with friends in the sunshine
But something's been wrong for a while now
Something undiagnosable by a doctor.
A sense of life no longer being able to penetrate skin or soul
Bad circulation from smoking, cold lizard skin now
The soul seemingly closed for business
Like an old radio with the antenna broken off
I don't receive the messages anymore
Panting from leg to leg like a dog
Lunches, cigarettes, new smells
None of it affects me anymore
Dreams just continuations of the anxieties of the day
No messages, myths, allegories, advice
Even the dead no longer want to visit me there
Whine, bitch, moan, complain
Gasp awake with a bad back
Feel pained to get off the futon
Look at Instagram and deal with the night's messages
Before the pilgrimage for cigarettes and coffee
Like a dog's treat and walk
The only thing that gives me a pepper of excitement
The rest?
How many adventures (and troubles) can you make
before Scenery is just Scenery
An airplane flight is just time killed over time zones
Wait for them to come by with the coffee
Take no pleasure anymore


Aaron Lake Smith